Teach your children well
Aug. 6th, 2006 12:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zoundsAfter chatting to a blind man at a bus stop near the Vision Australia building (formerly the Royal Blind Society), the bus finally rumbled to a halt in front of us and opened its doors. I patiently helped him up the steps, and waited for him to pay his fare before I could dunk my ticket into the machine and follow him. Many of the seats were filled, including the front ones saved for disabled and elderly passengers. Watching as he hit people’s legs with his stick, trying to find an empty seat that nobody seemed willing to volunteer, I silently wondered why the school girl wasn’t standing up, or either member of the exaggeratedly oblivious middle-aged couple weren’t offering their seats. Finally an elderly lady rose and ushered him into her place. At that moment the bus took off with a lurch, and the woman tumbled backwards, her fall only slightly softened by hands reflexively held out to catch her. She managed to crawl to an empty seat towards the back of the bus and hopefully had a relatively smooth ride for the rest of her journey.
All this was observed in silence. Social etiquette kept my lips sewn shut, but inside I was angered by the selfish behaviour of thoughtless people.
When finally the bus reached my destination, I alighted and waited at the traffic lights to cross the road, along with others eager to do their shopping and get to places at this busy time of the day. Before the little green man appeared to notify it was the right time to cross the road however, a man sprinted past me, all black suit and briefcase. Only a few moments later the green man flashed into view and the rest of us crossed the road.
Both these incidents got to me. As I said, all this was observed in silence. But not only by me. I noted the four and five year olds sitting on the bus with their parents and grandparents, the young children clutching their mother’s hand as they waited to cross the road.
Watching as we do the wrong thing, as we behave rudely and inconsiderately.
What do you think they’re learning?
In this non-conformist age, we all like to say, “I don’t care about what others think! I’m going to do my own thing!” as if we’re an unwilling member of society, a society which is trying to strip us of our individuality through its explicit and implicit rules. And yet we’ll complain about other generations (usually younger, such as little girls becoming sexually mature earlier, and youths becoming increasingly sadistic and indifferent), blaming television, music, computer games- anything that is new or has altered over time!- for modelling and celebrating undesirable behaviours and attitudes, inconsistent with these implicit and explicit rules of society. It’s easy to take ourselves out of the equation for these consequences.
Those who are the worst offenders are those perceived with relatively higher power and position. Why? Because those are whom people pay attention to the most. In the 1950’s Monroe Lefkowitz and two of his associates conducted an important study on the effect of the social factor of status on strengthening or weakening a prohibited behaviour – crossing the road before the correct traffic light signal appeared. It was found more violations occurred when a model dressed in representative high social status gear (ie. suit and briefcase) did it first. Certainly, a behaviour performed by a respected and relatively powerful figure has the power to convince observers the behaviour is acceptable and even appropriate. The man or woman who puts on their business suit every morning therefore also dons the mantle of responsibility of being a good role model for others, not just within the context of work but anywhere and everywhere.
This responsibility doesn’t merely apply to those literally in a position of power in a company. Expanding the range to teachers, parents and people in a PR profession is still inadequate. Anybody- in fact, everybody- has some degree of power and in different situations can be in a relatively higher position to another, realising it or not. If that young schoolgirl in the bus had stood up and offered her seat to the blind man, she might have provided guidance to peers also seated in the bus, perhaps even other older passengers who had forgotten common courtesies and needed a guilty reminder, and she would have demonstrated to the children in the bus the sort of behaviour and attitude we’ll expect (and complain about when we don’t get it) from a younger generation; that is, respect and manners.
Here’s the bottom line. We’re all part of this society whether we like it or not, and hence we’re all endowed with a responsibility that unfortunately we can’t just pass onto somebody else. So teach yours (or someone else’s) children well by doing it right yourself. Remember, someone is always watching you.
All this was observed in silence. Social etiquette kept my lips sewn shut, but inside I was angered by the selfish behaviour of thoughtless people.
When finally the bus reached my destination, I alighted and waited at the traffic lights to cross the road, along with others eager to do their shopping and get to places at this busy time of the day. Before the little green man appeared to notify it was the right time to cross the road however, a man sprinted past me, all black suit and briefcase. Only a few moments later the green man flashed into view and the rest of us crossed the road.
Both these incidents got to me. As I said, all this was observed in silence. But not only by me. I noted the four and five year olds sitting on the bus with their parents and grandparents, the young children clutching their mother’s hand as they waited to cross the road.
Watching as we do the wrong thing, as we behave rudely and inconsiderately.
What do you think they’re learning?
In this non-conformist age, we all like to say, “I don’t care about what others think! I’m going to do my own thing!” as if we’re an unwilling member of society, a society which is trying to strip us of our individuality through its explicit and implicit rules. And yet we’ll complain about other generations (usually younger, such as little girls becoming sexually mature earlier, and youths becoming increasingly sadistic and indifferent), blaming television, music, computer games- anything that is new or has altered over time!- for modelling and celebrating undesirable behaviours and attitudes, inconsistent with these implicit and explicit rules of society. It’s easy to take ourselves out of the equation for these consequences.
Those who are the worst offenders are those perceived with relatively higher power and position. Why? Because those are whom people pay attention to the most. In the 1950’s Monroe Lefkowitz and two of his associates conducted an important study on the effect of the social factor of status on strengthening or weakening a prohibited behaviour – crossing the road before the correct traffic light signal appeared. It was found more violations occurred when a model dressed in representative high social status gear (ie. suit and briefcase) did it first. Certainly, a behaviour performed by a respected and relatively powerful figure has the power to convince observers the behaviour is acceptable and even appropriate. The man or woman who puts on their business suit every morning therefore also dons the mantle of responsibility of being a good role model for others, not just within the context of work but anywhere and everywhere.
This responsibility doesn’t merely apply to those literally in a position of power in a company. Expanding the range to teachers, parents and people in a PR profession is still inadequate. Anybody- in fact, everybody- has some degree of power and in different situations can be in a relatively higher position to another, realising it or not. If that young schoolgirl in the bus had stood up and offered her seat to the blind man, she might have provided guidance to peers also seated in the bus, perhaps even other older passengers who had forgotten common courtesies and needed a guilty reminder, and she would have demonstrated to the children in the bus the sort of behaviour and attitude we’ll expect (and complain about when we don’t get it) from a younger generation; that is, respect and manners.
Here’s the bottom line. We’re all part of this society whether we like it or not, and hence we’re all endowed with a responsibility that unfortunately we can’t just pass onto somebody else. So teach yours (or someone else’s) children well by doing it right yourself. Remember, someone is always watching you.
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